Where’s Muh Freedom?
That’s October’s inner growth theme here at Extremists Being Awesome.
In the liberty community, just as in other philosophical circles and movements for socio-political change, the elusive prize often overshadows the journey that gets us there. Freedom is our ever-present desire, our goal, our rallying cry, but when it comes right down to it, are we behaving like free people, here and now? Are we using our inherent freedom to the utmost? Are we journeying to the destination, or sitting still and demanding that life, or “democracy”, or “society,” deliver us our cherished prize? Those are all questions to consider on an individual basis, and that’s the gist of this month’s theme.
I invited EBA members to submit guest posts about the theme, and Karen Keener delivered this wonderful exploration. Karen is a writer, a mom, an expert on boundaries, and a workshop facilitator in Utah. You can find more of her work and learn about her online courses on her Substack, The Sovereign Mom.
-Starr
What are the “Stages of Grief”?
I seem to forget, but I am surely experiencing them. I feel some in big ways, but others in small or incremental and almost even imperceptible ways.
Change is coming. That is certain. Am I ready? Is anyone ready or really free to welcome change? But, ready or not, change will come.
Today in meditation, I heard my son coming in to interrupt me only a minute or so after I told him to give me ten minutes to meditate. And I felt my heart rush and my adrenaline surge, and I could hear my inner dialogue saying in accompaniment with these feelings, “NOT NOW!” And I wondered, if not now, when?
It occurred to me that the feeling is quite common for me lately, familiar. I have asked for change. I have demanded it. Manifestation requires change. But, I am suddenly more keenly aware of the message my body and my inner dialogue has been repeating to the arrival of the new: NOT NOW.
Why not?
Oh, there's that tricky first stage of grief: denial.
Change will come. It will reshape your life, like a piece of poorly shaped clay. An artist used the best skills she had at the time to make something magnificent and inspiring. Yet, as skills improve and our perception of the light heightens, the artist dares to envision shaping her favorite medium into a new form.
But this new form requires heightened attention and new skills. This old piece she loves would look like a mess for a time. It requires a big risk destroying this lovely old form to attempt the new. She must let go of the old shape.
You can’t become something new by staying the same. But remember, as we let go of the old form, to attend to our grief, to allow it: it’s a natural part of the process. It’s okay to feel sad and grieve—even what we have grown tired of within ourselves. Like a child making something with Play-doh, we have to wad it all up, our pretty creation we were so proud of, to make something new today. There’s some sadness with letting go. However, if we do not let go of our old form, the new one can never come.
We grieve what we once were to let go and ultimately, to say “good-bye” as best we can to our old selves in order to transform. Muh freedom, to play, to create and to artfully live is on the other side of sometimes deep grief I must feel to be present and live anew.
Let the feelings flow. And when anything comes: feelings, children, messes, etc. and the body starts to recoil, remember change must come to have the life you want to live. Then, welcome it with whatever courage you can muster by saying, “Ah, yes. Now!”
I love this. Acknowledging and allowing the grief, especially of the past 2 1/2 years, has been so much of the deepest work of surviving it intact.